Friday, November 22, 2013

12 Random Things About Me That Others May or May Not Know

The other day an old friend from high school posted one of those Facebook challenges on my page. Usually I do not rise to such challenges due to lack of inclination or time. But this one I just had to. So here are my --

12 Random Things About Me That Others May or May Not Know

1. I’m actually 6 foot 2. I just always wear my elevator shoes and push the down button.

2. While living in Japan I learned the ancient art of brewing a tea 

from the wings of the cherry tree beetle.

It has many medicinal properties.

3. I once tunneled from my backyard to my friend John’s backyard.

4. I married my wife in Hawaii after saving her from being sacrificed in a volcano.

illustration from Uncle Charlie’s Blog

5. I once spent a lovely afternoon talking with Jodie Foster on the day that she bought her first car -- it was a Jeep.

6. I have a castle in Spain.

7. I march to a different drummer -- but the son-of-a-bitch can’t keep a beat.

8. I once lived in an alternate reality 

Alternate Reality Digital Art by Sandra Bauser

-- or was that just Orange County?

9. A dog once bit off my right ear. I had the doctors graft it onto the sole of my right foot so I could keep an ear to the ground.

Self-portrait with cut ear' by Vincent Van Gogh. Photograph- Roger-Viollet/Rex Features

10. I have a younger brother, Stan, who is nothing but a figment of the imagination of a pastry chef in Bangor, Maine. 

-- Nevertheless he sends me a box of sugar cookies every year for my birthday.

11. I wear long johns in the Summer 

and nothing next to my skin in the Winter. 

That’s how much of a contrarian I am.

12.  The first time I fell in love I mistook it for a fever, so I went to bed. Unfortunately not with international supermodel

who kept asking me to come to her suite.

Although there may be some truth in each one of these -- only one of these is 100% true. Can you guess which one?